Burning Down

Genius comment from the London Fire Brigade regarding the fire at Camden:

"We do know exactly where the fire started. We've got some witness statements already... taken from people."

Taken from people?  As opposed to what?  Badgers?  God?

OMG!

Golly! I can't believe it's been six months since I last got my flabby
arse to sit on front of a computer and actually post a blog! Who am i
kidding? I'm not in any way surprised. Anyway, according to encarta a
baboon could have had a baby in that time.

Oh dear. I could regale you with tales of what I've been up to but
really it's not that interesting and nobody's really that bothered. I
have moved house tho, that was fun.

dave
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Flouncy

Brilliant!

I've just noticed the inside of my new work trouser say 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy' in flouncy, metallic lavender writing.

I have promptly ordered two more pairs in the hope that they have other random proverbs embroidered into them.

I'm hoping for 'An idle brain is the Devil's workshop' and 'Never cast a clout before is May is out'.

Yeah?

dave
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Very Good

GOSH.

55, Camden

Two for one on cocktails is surely the best idea in the world:

"Hi, I'd like four cocktails please."

"OK. It's two for one so do you want four or eight?"

"EIGHT."

This didn't go on and on until I ended up with infinity cocktails, but mostly only because somebody stopped me.

Infinity cocktails tho - and only for infinity/2 pounds!

dave
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Zing!

I made it all new and shiny!

Since Col hasn't actually ever blogged on this site at all ever, I've taken her name out of the title. Still the same blog, just with 100% less Col. Actually it contains the same amount of Col (zero).

Anyway, just watching 'Shrink Rap' with Stephen Fry. Leading questions, anyone?

dave
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Really Fucking Wet

Hello campers!

Or:

Fuck off you sodden bastards!

So anyway I went camping on my birthday weekend and it was really, really rainy. I mean pretty much non-stop rain here guys. It was very amusing though and relief came in the form of steak and ale pies, cosmopolitans, toasted marshmallows and sleeping inside cars.

Our £15 tent from ASDA didn't really cut the waterproofing mustard, so we called it the Cockaleekie Sog. Now she's stuffed into her 'handy carry sack', rotting in her own worthless moistness. This will hopefully learn her for masquerading as a tent when she is, clearly, three blue umbrellas stitched together by some blind lady in Asdastan WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT BRITISH SUMMERS.

dave
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